\ at aware I am making mistakes in the first place. There'a a much wise underastanding being bridged across.. It's a good thing I was born this way..

\ I'm wanting to speak through writing,but it's hard to cumunmicate. Especally because of types. But continually checking spelling errors means I an somewh

... The pain is great. Far greater than I let on.
.....
almost died last night. I'm only alive 'cause I chose to live,to take the pain and its glory with my sickening hero complex. Martyr complex, more like >_< 'cept my sacrifice is living, I know..

I'm still fading in and out,but shhhhhh... ;o
That'll be our little secret.

Things won't remain this way forever.. Sometimes you just have to live in loving the moment for what it is,painting a pretty little picture in your memories,so when things do change..the past won't be lost,and hope will exist.

It's been a long time since I've felt that hurt.. A long time since I've cried that much.. A long time since I'd first felt lonely.. And a long time since I'd become so weak. Things need to change.. now.

For no obvious reason I am going through some really odd perceptual distortions right now.. A little too aware of how scattered my focus is and,well.. Focused.

Why is the sky so big while I'm so small? Why must it always mock me so?

And the worst part is I think part of him knows his relationship with her is what's killing the poor onlooker. Oh,inside I cryyyy... That onlooker's heart is mine,and we are all but the same. I could so easily view him with the same contempt as he,and I could so easily share in his devastation as he deviates from communication.. Poor heart,out of my reach while suffering so I can lend it no rest,while accepting my grip extended would seem most fit.. But they would turn their heads and shield their ears to my solemn warning.. His aura hints more than deprivation,and as such,I am lost in contemplation,taken far from contentment.. Far,far away,because my soul was never just mine,and once this is known to the mind,it cannot be unlearned. Truth is the burden I chose to bear,and the consequences are those I choose to share.

God,spare us..

I love,I love,I love.. But it hurts,oh it hurts.. But it's necessary,so necessary. Yet it's mine,will be mine.. forevermore.

to this moment feels awkward,my eyes burn,my head hurts,and I gradually regained the ability to move..

Why is this happening to me?

And eventually my dad walked in and forced me awake somehow and I was disoriented but somehow managed to turn my head.. I was coughing,that organ still

my death,and I couldn't take it personally.. I was in too much pain,dying,I could barely hear her,and I'd blur in and out of reality.. It was the same..

ttons and..speak(I was breathing less,too,and could no longer move the rest of my limbs)... My mom hung up the phone and started yelling at me for faking

ll 911(I've never called 911,even in the worst situations I've ever been in,nor did I ever ask anyone to),and after struggling my hardest to punch the bu

less of an ability to do with each passing moment,I was so tired.. In the dream,the ringing also began and my heart raced,and I cried out for help,to ca

uld shock.. Mehhh..the pain was real...and I couldn't breathe there,too.. The only way to breathe there was to raise me head and shock myself which I had

ck felt like it was stabbed.. There was an electrical shock-like feeling on my lower lefthand size,and every time I tried to rise up off the ground,it wo

ing and my heart started stuterring.. Kinda started seizing up,cause my muscles we tensing on their own and lying face-down,I couldn't breathe as my face

pressed into my pillow. My head and organs,particularly my right size hurt,and everything became a dream. In the dream I was walking and suddenly my ba

Just almost died.. I didn't try to,but I was falling into sleep after suddenly becoming so tired I needed to lay down,and I started hearing the same ring