It's been awhile; I've been up down and all around~

Now let me tell YOU how much being 51-50'd twice within the period of the same week is... not fun. Especially with the psychiotic lady down the hall you think is speaking intelligently until you learn over closer starts making animal noises, and the ex-con in the room next to you, just after being restraited decides to piss everywhere as a way of sticking it to the man. Or who knows, maybe he really just had to take a piss at a very inconvenient time? In any case, it was not to my benefit, and I heard all the nurses laughing and gossiping, and I just wanted to scream DON'T YOU FUCKING REALIZE SOME OF US ARE HERE AGAINST OUR WILL AND WE DON'T WANT TO PUT WITH THE NOISE OF YOUR PETTY GOSSIP ANY MORE THAN THE FOUL MOUTHED MAN WHO JUST PISSED HIMSELF IN THE NEXT ROOM. But I didn't. Very rarely do I speak my true opinion. I mainly just observe others', and if we share one, GREAT, I can bring up a topic and hopefully have more than a one-sided conversation, and that topic may lead to another, and as I get a feel for their temprament, the way they will generally respond to things based upon the strength of the preferences as indicated through verbal response and even microexpression, I can poke at carrying the conversation to a slightly deeper level. This part is the one where I really start pulling things out of the other person's psych they didn't remember were there or were trying to forget, but I remember usually, these are a essential ingredient in the total unraveling of a person.

Identifying, trust, dysruptive sense of self-worth, empathy, fears, memories(personal experiences), preferences(all kinds), philosophic mindset(receptive, dejecting, comparative, compatible, reflective, Echoic in certain principles) beliefs, adherence to internet compass...

These things are what flavor what we observe in personality and observe in a "person"... But what really is the person? Holos = oneness
perhaps this is an equal amount of void as matter, or a certain amount of matter is leaving from the void, then when the cycle retracts, it will replace probably anti-matter residing on the other side of the void, or blackhole. Like some of those perpetual moving objects... the universe expanding and contracting could be just like that... meaning there may be other sides to black holes... How many other sides... how many factual universe exactly the same ordeal... a motion that only in appearance, ceases, begins, and continues... but never truly began in the first place.

I personally believe any type of order and linear time are illusions...
Time= distance x rate
Okay, besides time being an order we artificially impose on society, it does seen to reprent the rate void could be dislocated within a period of time, using different types of stardized speedometers, timed automatedly, and obstacles. The obstacle (and all of its components) that go through the change are void, and maybe void is even the tiniest substance to exist, and maybe seed of all things as perfect distruction of molecule when there's no place to move as it vibrates would cause an explosion, or even the perception of implosion in the long term, as gravity returns everything to its due place. But what is Gravity? It is a "force" ?