Why do I feel so invisible?

Talk about motifs....

please, help me get out
 I can't take it much longer
 but you don't see me

I hate depression
 I hate this loneliness more
 nothing can end it

This is nothing new
 drowning but not submerged
 not much time left now

but still here I am
 staring at my ceiling fan
 no more denial

I know you don't care
I don't expect people to
 turn away from me

I expect nothing
 expectations get betrayed
 I am a shut in

what people don't know:
 I refused to ask for help
 so I've nearly died

though I once had friends
 my ties have long since been cut
 I feel nothing

I don't know why I stay
 I don't have any reason
 I can't make one up

but why should you care?
 I'm just a stupid person
 ruled by emotion

maybe I should leave
 'cuz it's all I know to be
 a screwed up nuisance

people will mock me
 but I don't care anymore
 no more can be lost

This is what I'm like
 when held by a fraying cord;
 my reality