It seems like the only reason I write or blog lately is to vent negativity... Well, whatever. I do what I have to, I guess....
I hate this feeling. I care a lot about people, but I'm just an extra... I pour my heart into being there for them, and they tell me that they care, but then when other people talk to them, maybe more interesting people, when they don't need me, they forget about me completely.
why
why do I smile
when I feel like dying?
that song by Keane captured the question so perfectly
I don't understand... I still don't
why I could be thinking about suicide, then smile and laugh, and even convince myself for a little while that I'm happy
but then when I'm alone
there's no distraction
there's no means of denying it
there's just me and the truth
I doubt anything anyone could say could make me feel less lonely
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2 comments:
I'm sorry, Jacqueline.
I've always posted out of negativity, myself.
I wish I could say I knew how you felt, but I don't.
In my opinion, we are all truly alone, and it will always be that way. That is always how we end up. We are all left alone... by ourselves with only ourselves, and the truth.
Not to say that there isn't love. Or than we don't have friends. Because we are loved, and we do have friends.
But I understand what you're saying. I am sorry you feel this way. As a friend, I hope you do know, that I love you. I may not always be there, but you are in my thoughts.
Also, I agree with one thing- or at least, I can see what you mean. When other interesting people come, it's as if you're somewhat pushed aside. Even if it's subtle. I can pick up the cues and taste the pain. What an awful feeling.
-hugs-
I'm sorry, Jacqueline.
I've always posted out of negativity, myself.
I wish I could say I knew how you felt, but I don't.
In my opinion, we are all truly alone, and it will always be that way. That is always how we end up. We are all left alone... by ourselves with only ourselves, and the truth.
Not to say that there isn't love. Or than we don't have friends. Because we are loved, and we do have friends.
But I understand what you're saying. I am sorry you feel this way. As a friend, I hope you do know, that I love you. I may not always be there, but you are in my thoughts.
Also, I agree with one thing- or at least, I can see what you mean. When other interesting people come, it's as if you're somewhat pushed aside. Even if it's subtle. I can pick up the cues and taste the pain. What an awful feeling.
-hugs-
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