We almost had another housefire,guys.. Well,we did. But luckily we caught the perpatrator. A couple dry potatoes and a microwave set for 20 minutes. Lmao

Some people are so concerned with doing what's best for their own needs,others for what would make people like or resect them to be secure within themselves,and others for the sake of self-righteousness. In the end,they're all selfish,but the later is best at bullshitting the reasons for their doing things and trying to make it appear it is for "the greater good";whatever the hell that is. I'm in the last classification. Like when my friends hassle each other to conform and ask for me to join in the peer pressure band wagon,I refuse because I don't like pressuring people into doing things that contradict their beliefs,even if they're "wrong". There's something to be learned from everybody,there.. Still,I think it's best I mask my emotions for the sake of not biasing others unduly. I step in only when there is a problem.. Sometimes this has its pitfalls,though.. For example,when I feel a certain way about something or someone,but I can't admit why because otherwise... It would bias somebody's decision making process because of their tendency to prevent another's anguish. I end up getting hurt for not saying anything,and miss out on opportunities,but oh well. That's the sacrifice I signed for. Maybe one day they'll understand. Maybe not. Either way,there's satisfaction within my own heart that this pain is with purpose. I am a slowly dying martyr,only for the sake of promoting love and understanding while subduing hatred. I'm willing to suffer for that for a lifetime,easily.

Wow,I have *got* to try to stay more positive. If I let things get to me so easily,there is no way I'm going to survive this world..
...I haven't even gotten to the difficult part yet. Heaven forbid.....

Sometimes I wish people could truly understand what it's like to feel the things I do,but then I know that in order to do that,they would have to actually have to feel it themselves,and I really wouldn't wish that on anyone. Some people have trouble believing that I honestly have a neuro-chemical imbalance that could affect me to this extent,but to those people: if you don't believe this is something beyond a human's control,and you doubt chemicals can manipulate your mood and the way you think,or even that anti-depressants are for people who complain to much.. Go take a bunch of Ecstasy or Amphetamines,then tell me mood is something you control through pure willpower. Better yet,talk to me on the comedown. I'm sure that then we may be able to see things a little more eye-to-eye.

hell am I still alive,and why am I not doing something about it now?

pain,and the visions of abandonment." my thoughts... A small amount. Enough for any given second of seclusion :( I've almost died soo many times. Why the

eless to everyone,and if everybody isn't disgusted with you like you are,they will be,and leave. Then,when you die,all you will have are the memories of

when really,that answer is just what you needed..? You know what you need is something you will never truly get,life won't treat you any fairer,you're us

Why live in a world where when people ask 'How are you?',they hear what they want to,or don't know how to respond to the truth they never wanted to hear,

ld you bother to live when this suffering never really was just your problem,and you can't even look people in the eye anymore when you say you're okay?

y. Why would you live when you're only bound to let them down because they can't pick you back up off the ground as they believe friends should? Why shou

uccessfully,then leaves you in omnipresent despair. "Why should you bother living,"you wonder,"when by doing so,you cause people inconvience everpresentl

and the only reasonable thing to do is die. All the while you live,your mind argues with every semi-hoperidden thought that is brave enough to be heard,s

e;your perception constantly shifts with such frequency that everything becomes obscure and abstract. During depression,optimism is a farfetched concept,

guarantee with each high is that you will fall lower and harder than you ever had before... Life is an illusion in the sense that it never stays concret

"You say these things,they go away;but they never do."

Very few people can truly understand the complexity of something like bipolar disorder.. The only

that in the end,it will all be worth it. As of yet, I still have faith~

f you're not the one to go back on your word,and I accept this now with that fact in mind. There are risks,but this is a necessary sacrifice.. Let's pray

rung of social ladder.. One I know better than to trigger. Now that I have been validated, I can't back out. Commitments are harder,and may bring pain i

have I saved,and how many would fall into shambles if I submitted to the allure of hypocrisy? It's a very unfortunate chain of events to remove only one

,I know I have responsibilities and a commitment to the people in this world whose lives would have long ago collapsed without my support. How many lives