I am so out of it today. I woke up several times last night to various nightmares, crying, with suicidal ideas whispering in my ear. If I don't regain control by tonight, I may be found staggering erratically to the nearest set of train tracks, and lay down a final time to end my nightmares and daydreaming that has never ceased to be, it seems. I need to repent for the source of all my agony and remorse.. Him. I'm sorrier than he may ever know, and sadly, he may barely afford to muster any empathy. That's only my loss though.. Only mine. My memories of the past flood my mind today and push me towards an end. All of it is unbearable, and my tolerance has subsequently dwindled down, leaving me with a tasteless version of reality, devoid of hope and passion. My woe, to the rest, shall remain unknown, as I conceal any hints my heart tries to utter.