I'm sorry I had forgotten to tell my friends how much I love them all and appreciate them having come into my life :/ I have had this feeling of impending doom for unknown reasons.. Perhaps one contributing factor,however,was my health being very... Unreliable,to understate the degree of it. Despite the sadness of it, I will know that in my past actions, I brought whatever occurs next upon myself. I made the same mistakes too many times,and didn't learn because I rushed forward seizing any thing I could see as "the obvious answer". I tried to disregard anything outside of my inner world of what I think is logical,and dismiss my own feelings with the justification that "I shouldn't feel this way. It is wrong and unexceptable." ..now I know it was cheap denail. It was pointless.. Pushing things under only let them resurface in time as something much worse. It's too bad.. So many things in this life do accumulate and manifest,it's remarkable. I wonder if all these patterns could be combined into one thing..