I think.. Well,no, I must be getting worse again.I stopped meditating and tried to kill myself after a period of time. I need to stay on top of this.. I need to stay consistent in my habit,and make sure I stay balanced out. There's a number of reasons I'm less stable these days;primarily involving the old source of my past instability... A.k.a. him. But still, I've gotten much better. And still, I have the power to prevent myself from going overboard. This time I have the knowledge of the past as a tool to help me avoid making those same mistakes. Let's see how things play out now that a little older and,hopefully,wiser.

Tomorrow I leave for camp. Last year this break from him is the only thing that helped me truly become more independent. It was hell for that reason,but a necessary hell. I hope that this year,that isolation can again aide my maturing process. I need all the insight from above I can get.. I'll make a habit of hiking to the waterfall in the morning alone, on a daily basis, to meditate. Maybe then I will find some answers,and if nothing else,become more fit.
Now,however,I must sleep. A long day is ahead of me tomorrow.