Sometimes I stop and ask myself "What the fuck are you doing?! Are you INSANE???" and then I realize I'm following my heart,acknowledging my emotions as being a part of me. This is my true self.. I'd gain nothing in denying it but an emptiness..one I'd come to know well in the past. It's so weird to think I would have screwed myself over at a time,but then it makes perfect sense logically.. If not doing so would have resulted in me remaining the same,I would never have moved past my skewed reality. It's been a long,weary roading.. Maybe I shouldn't feel proud,because to be myself considering how the fact that I had orchestrated my own demise before makes me doubley a perpetrator,but I do. I guess somebody else will have to codemn me :( This doesn't change the fact that I have peace knowing I did the best I could,and whatever happens in my life is beyond me. I'm ready for the next lesson,or possible consequence.