:P

Sunday, June 28, 2009

I just realized..

I've always known how to meditate.

I think it must be strange, considering so many people have to practice for a long time just to clear their mind. I remember staring out the window and enjoying the blankness of my mind, and the way everything felt in the moment not wanting it to change for anything. I was just staring. Not thinking, not moving; just staring. I was staring without seeing. I tuned out everything else. I remember that one of the specific times in my memory I was seven. I focused on a plastic piece of food, and nothing could break the concentration of my intent focus on doing nothing but letting my mind remain blank and at the same time absorbing the situation.. Somebody would swipe their hand across my face, yet it didn't matter. The very idea of object permance was gone, along with the rest of my thoughts. There was only me and the object of my focus. That was my world for those moments that stretched on for an eternity. When I meditate, I lose all sense of time. My soul is suspended in a seperate dimension. Most people, I believe, have never been there. Most, I believe, never will. I am a natural, and this leads me to reckon I must have an inclination of some sort. I do have an obsession with altered states of conciousness, and paying visit to different and distinct realities. I've always had an obsession with the prospect of religion and philosophy. Maybe one day it will lead me somewhere special. It is my hope, and it is my dream(literally). I worry, though, that because of I have been placed in a state of genetic predisposition, I may not be able to accept the authenticity of any given experience at face value. Not truly..
Despite this, I'll keep trying. I'll keep practicing. Maybe I'll finally lose the world, and my biased sense of what this reality is.

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