Anndddd~

I'm up again. I wonder when my pattern of insomnia will end.. What does it mean? Does it signify anything at all? Is this bliss not but momentary, and a sure sign of mental over-stimulation -.- God, I hope not. *sigh* So, why can't I sleep.. again? My dreams lately are so surreal and lately lead me back to.. someone. While I had crossed the path of many people in that realm recently.. still, that one person has appeared more often than the rest. He's not the person who I'd encountered a troubling adventure with, but he's still one I should dare not to think of. I thought I had let him go, but why? Whenever he's around.. I feel so happy. But I don't even know if I'll see him again :\ He has a girlfriend, I have a boyfriend. Even before he was with his girlfriend, I had always thought I was so far beneathe him that I never stood a chance, so I had temporarily cast away any hopes I had.. but still.. even then, he was in my dreams. He was always so kind and curtious, and he accepted me in all my weirdness. And he always seemed to be thinking.. but he'd tell me things that I knew were to be just between him and I. And I trusted him also. The relationship between us is complicated, to say the least. Nobody really knew the whole situation about my feelings for him and the stuff that I'd known.. and this is just another one of those circumstances where I can't possibly write every detail, or dare to explain it to anyone outside the situation.. it's just so personal. I'm still wondering if the dreams really mean anything, or if I should just try to forget. Do I even like him still? Really, who the hell DO I like?! >.<>