I find it kinda funny, I find it kinda sad~

So apparently my blog is advertised on now.. lol. I believe the site said that the advertisements relating to my blog would be posted at the top ..and for some reason the advertisement is for things like solar energy, "Kiva Microfinance"(www.grameenfoundation.org), which supposedly changes lives through donations.. huh.. I think that I, Myself, may check out the grameenfoundation.org stuff. It kinda caught my interest :3 So I guess they thought the purpose of my website was to change lives for the better... that certainly would be an amazing accomplisment :D As for solar energy.. I want to save those polar bears, dammit >:O Didn't you see the commercial? Those poor polar bears are running out of icebergs to sit on, and they gonna drown if you dun do somethin', son! Or run out of food. That commercial seriously made me half wanna.. meh. It mad me feel really bad. They were cute polar bears x.x Kinda reminded me of my cats, in a way. Tch, I know what you're thinking. Polar bears =/= cats. But they both have fluff, they both have ears and faces, and little noses :D And they're both cute x3 Let's save the god damn polar bears~! Er.. I guess it has alot to do with Global Warming. So that means... EVERYBODY STOP BREATHING!!11!!1!! (J/K) lmao. It's kinda silly how I'm the insensitive one when it comes to some topics, but on others.. bi-polar opposite. xD haha, bad joke o_<>
Huh. Just reading my own writing (er, typing in this case) style leads me to wonder just what it is about my approach that so many people at school find interesting. In this moment, I'm basically just typing what comes to mind.. I don't really think about what I write or type as I'm doing it, it's like a free flow from mind to print. I become so absorbed in whatever activity I'm completing that I kinda lose myself; doesn't matter too much what activity it is. Trumpet, reading, listening to lectures, watching T.V., playing video games, writing, art, testing.. anything, really. I'm curious if that's strange. Most people I ask reply that it isn't the same for them when they take part in an endeavor. But is it really so simple as "getting lost in what I'm doing", which is really how my mom described what I go through? It's almost like a dream.. and I'm watching things happening, but I'm not really there. I read a book and the picture plays out in front of me like a movie, and temporarily, I AM the character(s). All that remains in my realm of concious is the story taking place before my eyes. And the choices and emotions no longer are the characters. They become my own.. If I'm interrupted and snap back to reality, if something previously had made the character angry, I tend to become high irritated and I'm affected by different events in the plot. Same thing with games. I dive so deep into the plot that I don't even see the T.V. I see the game, and reality is temporarily forgotten. The person I truly am becomes momentarily forgotten... >.<>
Wow, time is passing by unbelievably slow. Earlier, the clock was moving at what seemed near light speed, or the like. It is at least partially my fatigue, I'm sure. Gawd, I feel as if I'mma drop. Maybe I should take my medicine to wake up a little. Haven't taken today's dose yet. It's 10:26.. Oh, I'm relieved my mother finally went to work. Spending this much time with family really was starting to become a pain in the ass <.> Yeah, sure, they're cool or w/e. They're my family, but.. movie, after movie.. show, after show... one minially scrutent task after another, you'd think I would have gotten a break. But nooo, my mom just had to take 2 weeks off, the weeks of OUR vacation. And we all knew that it was confirmation we would constantly be working our asses off with chores, or whatever she wanted us to do. I got called away from what I was doing so many times in the past 2 weeks, I wanted to punch somebody in the face >.> Or at least a hole or 20 through the wall. But I didn't. Of course I'M not the type to actually act on such fooling emotions D: pfft. haha. But really, I never did anything like that. Tbh, I never have and I never would. My parents are the ones who hit things when they're mad enough.. and my brother.. oh, especially my brother -.- Huh, my medicine's come down effect seems to be getting to me. Why am I complaining so much? oO

In any case, I'm home with my dad and siblings, and today should be more relaxing. Doctors' appointment tomorrow, unfortunately. A strange question just popped into my head oo.. if you cry, but you don't feel sad, does that make you depressed? Cause I feel like that may happen soon. It doesn't quite feel the same as depression or anything but.. it's like extremely borderline in a misleading way. I know I won't swing over to depression, but I may cry when I'm not truly sad.. bleh :x I'll prolly be perfectly okay in a while. Oh, hey.. just gotz teh email from A.E. Apparently he's readin mah posts right now.. should I leave them up? -.-; *sigh* Lol, well I don't know. Probably too late now. I tried to install aim today and didn't have much success x.x fail. Hey, I guess the email was enough to lift my spirits a bit, thanks!

I wonder if he's even gonna read that far, lol. I wrote a hell of alot just within the past day....
I bet the equivalent on paper, double-sided, would be at least 8.. so 16. At the least, I'm guessing. Why the hell am I writing this much again? It might have to do with not being on the computer for weeks. Damn, and these past two weeks have been so eventful in the sense of my actual life.. too eventful....... this is why I used to hate writing. I would have so much to say that I, firstly, wouldn't have the foggiest idea where the heck to start, and secondly, would have so much to write, in such detail, that it would take hours to get it all out of my system. Perfectionist me can be quite the hindrance at time. I feel like my spelling really sucks so far today, as well as last night. murr... God, there I just some things I would never have the time to chronicle.