Par amour..

People grow close to me,then we grow apart.. That's just how it seems to happen. Afterwards,I am left with the memory,but I still live in the present.. I hope so much this all meant something,because without that purpose,without the prospect of "ergo cogito,sum", I am nothing.. I do not think,I do not exist.. My consciousness becomes a mirage,and I am lost. When I've thought about these things in times of depression,I really,really became messed up in the ways I thought about life. We can choose what we want to believe,yet I am a seeker of truth.. I am constantly working to reform my perspective,the only thing guaranteed is change.. My therapist said this is why I may get have melancholic tendencies.. But at the same time,that's not all I am,and I won't let it define me. One day, I know I'll get there.
I need to do more for more people.. I waste so much time when that time is not mine to waste and this is a product of my selfishness.. But is selfishness bad? In selflessness do I lose myself?self less.. Hmm.. I follow my heart,still. It'll lead me the right way,I know. Sometimes the voice of the heart and mind sounds similar,however.. The trick is differentiating between them.. What is the distinguishing pattern? What,who,where,why,when is love? One and all,the beginning the end,the heart and the mind,a mediator,a moderator,a negotiator.